I shouldn't be bitter...

But, it's hard not to be. I see all these mom's having easy deliveries or c-sections that turn out just fine. And I remember all that Gracie and I went through to bring her into the world.

June 20, 2010 was my due date which was a Sunday. I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for the next day and since my blood pressure was so high they decided to induce. I remember telling the nurse at my appointment that I was hoping it was high but not as high as it was. My mom kept telling me to take a bag with me to that appointment but of course I didn't listen and Andy had to go home for our hospital bag (oops).

Everything went fine with the induction. I really never had consistent contractions that I can remember. Felt like normal cramps to be honest. My water broke on it's on around 2030 and I decided to go ahead and get the epidural. Mainly because since my water had broken they wouldn't let me out of bed to pee and I couldn't use a bed pan. So yeah ;)

The epidural only worked on the left side of my body. And I honestly didn't want to feel ANYTHING so they gave me some meds in my IV which make me loopy and tired. But, whatever. I didn't really care at that point of time.

Around 1300 it was go time. I was SO tired. I didn't want to push. I wanted to sleep. But, I started to wake up after a little while and kept looking at the clock thinking "oh my goodness I could have two more hours of pushing". I kind of "knew" something was wrong and kept telling them I wanted a c-section. The nurse kept saying "no, it's major surgery. You don't want that".

Her head came out and we were all laughing because I said "is her head going back in". But, then the mood changed drastically. Dr. Smith told Andy to hit the call button but, that didn't happen fast enough so he yelled into the hallway. Tons of nurses and doctors came in the room. They had pushed Andy up against the wall and he looked stunned and scared. I had no clue what was going on but I knew it HURT. There were nurses pushing on my stomach. I'm screaming my head off. Then, I figured, maybe the screaming isn't helping and I should try to push.

Dr. Smith tried everything he could from the outside to get Gracie out. But, he couldn't and had to tear me from front to back to reach inside and pull her arm over her head so she would have enough room to come out. Turns out my pelvic bone is tilted. She was born at 1350 on 6/22/2010.

When Gracie finally came out I kept asking "why isn't she crying? Is she okay?" and nobody would answer me. My blood pressure had spiked to 290/210 and they were working to save both of our lives. Gracie wasn't breathing, moving, nothing. She was totally blue. But, finally they got her to breathe. Every blood vessel in her eyes had burst due to the pressure she had been under. But, she was alive. Without oxygen for almost 5 minutes but she was alive. Her right arm was also paralyzed from the pressure of the bone on her shoulder. It stunned all the nerves.

My mom kept asking the nurses what Gracie scored on the APGAR and they just said "not good". It wasn't until a year later that we finally knew she had all '0's and one '1'. The '1' was on her heart. It was beating VERY slowly.

She is my miracle. There are no effects from what she went through. She's a smart, happy, healthy 3 year old. She drives me up a wall daily but she is mine...and I would not trade her for the world. 

Ribbon Making Made Easy

It seemed like all the ribbons I could find to buy had the wrong kind of clips on the back, they were too "busy", or just plain to big for Gracie's head. So I decided to start making our own.

Step 1

Cut your middle piece out. You can make it as big or small as you want. Then cut four equal pieces of ribbon depending on how big you want your bow to be.

Step 2












Fold one end down to the middle and hot glue it. What I did was put the hot glue on the end of the ribbon and then fold it over.


Step 3

Fold the other side over and hot glue it into place. (Excuse my finger in the picture :) )

Step 4

Glue on on top of the other like in a cross.

Step 5

 Glue the next piece crisscrossed underneath the first "cross".

Step 6












Glue your fourth ribbon crisscrossed underneath the one your just glued.

Step 7

Glue your middle piece in the middle of your bow. And then glue clip of your choice to the bottom.

I hope my directions made a little bit of sense. They are actually really easy to make. And look adorable once they're done. You can pretty much make them however big or small you want to.

Homemade Laundry Detergent

1 - 4 lb 12 oz box Borax - it's found on the detergent aisle

1 -  4 lb box Arm & Hammer Baking Soda - cooking aisle

1 -  box Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda 55 oz - detergent aisle

3 - bars of Fels-naptha soap - detergent aisle

2 -  small containers of oxyclean or store brand oxyclean - 3.5 lbs (optional)

*you can use Zote soap instead of Fels-naptha soap. They have it at Home Depot.

1) Start out by grating your Fels-naptha soap just like cheese. You can use either a food processor or a regular ol' handheld cheese grater.

*it will dissolve in the water - even if you just use cold water.

2) Then throw all the ingredients into a 5 gallon trash bag. You're house will smell AMAZING!

Safe for all washers.
Safe for sensitive skin.
You can add laundry crystals to add sent.

Family Pictures

These were taken by the lovely Ryanne LeNoir. She took our family pictures last year as well. This year was MUCH different. All Gracie wanted to do was play with Ryanne's daughter or our pup, Apache. It was so fun though.

Rainbow Cake in a Jar

How perfect are these for a child's birthday party?! Gracie is turning two in June and I am planning on making these adorable cakes!

Ingredients

• 1 Betty Crocker Super Moist white cake mix
• 1 Tub Betty Crocker Whipped Ready to Spread white frosting
• 3 egg whites (for cake mix)
• 1/3 cup vegetable oil (for cake mix)
• 1 1/4 cup water (for cake mix)
• Betty Crocker NEON food colors in neon pink, neon blue and neon purple
• Regular food colors in yellow, green, red and blue
• 4 (1-quart) wide-mouth glass canning jars
• Non-stick cooking spray

Directions

1. 1Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Wash 4 one-quart canning jars and dry thoroughly. Set lids and rims aside. Spray inside of each glass jar with a generous amount of non-stick cooking spray.
2. 2Make cake batter according to directions on cake mix box.
3. 3Divide batter evenly between 5 bowls (approximately 1 cup of batter in each bowl).
4. 4Add 15 drops of neon pink food coloring to the 1st bowl. Stir to blend well.
5. 5Add 14 drops of regular yellow food coloring to the 2nd bowl. Stir to blend well.
6. 6Add 24 drops of regular green food coloring to the 3rd bowl. Stir to blend well.
7. 7Add 7 drops of neon blue food coloring to the 4th bowl. Stir to blend well.
8. 8Add 8 drops of regular red + 7 drops of regular blue + 3 drops of neon purple food coloring to the 5th bowl. Stir to blend well.
9. 9Spoon about 1/4-cup of each color batter into each of the jars, layering the colors in this order: purple (first), blue, green, yellow, pink (last). Use a paper towel to wipe any spills or drips from the jars.
10. 10Place the jars in a glass baking dish. Add 1/4" of water to the bottom of the dish surrounding the jars. Bake for 35-40 minutes. Cake tops should spring back to the touch when done, but don't bake so long that the cakes are brown. You can also use a long bamboo skewer to test doneness if you have one.
11. 11Allow cakes to cool completely, about one hour, before frosting.
12. 12Spread frosting over top of cake and decorate as desired.